


Who You'd Be Today

by Dragonsrule18



Category: Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Child Death, Eddie Brock Takes Care of Venom Symbiote, Hurt Venom Symbiote (Marvel), I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I normally write fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Male Pronouns for Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Minor Character Death, Minor Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote, Pre-Relationship, Protective Eddie Brock, Protective Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Sad, Sad Eddie Brock, Sad Venom Symbiote, Symbiote Death, This Is Going To Be Depressing Guys, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Venom Has A Depressing Backstory, Venom Symbiote Needs A Hug, but I had to write this, loss of a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 04:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18189767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonsrule18/pseuds/Dragonsrule18
Summary: After saving a little girl from drowning at the park, Eddie realizes his symbiote is being haunted by terrible memories.  He learns of  the horrors at the LIFE foundation before he arrived...and of the ones Venom couldn't save.





	Who You'd Be Today

**Author's Note:**

> Tagged for major character death, as in this story, Venom lost one of his children before he met Eddie. It's going to be sad and it's going to be depressing, so I want to give a trigger warning for it.

It had been a simple, quiet day in the park. Eddie had bought them a chocolate ice cream as they sat on a park bench, enjoying the late spring sunshine. Venom gave him a mental nudge and knowing what he wanted, Eddie smiled and moved the ice cream close to his collar, making it look like he was just holding it casually. Venom formed a tiny snake-like head and took a lick as Eddie relaxed and closed his eyes.

But then Venom spotted something and his attention immediately turned from his ice cream. _**"Eddie, that child is going too close to the water."**_

Eddie's eyes immediately opened and he looked towards the pond that glittered in the middle of the park. Venom was right. A tiny little girl with blond pigtails, looking to be around two and wearing a pink jacket, was heading towards the water, seeming to be focused on the family of ducks that were swimming in the middle of the pond. There were no parents in sight as she walked up to the edge of the pond.

Eddie jumped up, wanting to get the child away from the deep pond. The little girl started to slip. Eddie gasped and started running, and Venom took control to make them both move faster as the little girl fell in. They could have rivalled the Flash in that moment as they rushed across the sidewalk and down the hill to the pond, yet it still seemed too slow for both of them.

It took only a few seconds for them to get there, and Venom quickly pulled the little girl to safety. She coughed up water and started to cry. Eddie patted her back to help her get out the rest of the water.

"It's okay, little one." Venom said with Eddie's mouth, the symbiote's voice especially soft. Venom was always much more gentle around children than adults, and Eddie knew there was a reason, but Venom never wanted to talk about it and Eddie had never pushed, telling Venom that he could tell him when he was ready. Eddie felt a wave of wistfulness and sadness from their bond.

The little girl snuggled closer into their warm chest and cooed at them. Eddie and Venom held her close as Eddie looked for her parent or parents, walking through the park. Venom's full attention however was on the child and his small noodle head poked out to look at the little girl. Eddie was about to warn Venom that this might scare the little one, but it didn't.

"Kitty!" the girl cheered and reached out to pet Venom's tiny head.

Eddie chuckled warmly. "Close enough, kiddo." With his constant demand for food, interest in the simplest things, and tendency to purr when extremely happy, his beloved symbiote was awfully cat-like at times.

 _ **"Not a cat."**_ Venom grumbled but still couldn't stop the small purr that came out when the child gently petted his head. Eddie was about to tease him, but felt a sudden wave of affection, sadness, regret, guilt and loss from his symbiote as Venom watched the child. Eddie saw a sudden image flash before his eyes; a tiny pinkish-purple slug like creature swimming among waves of black and the ache from his symbiote grew further. Eddie was extremely worried now.

 _ **"I'll...I'll tell you about it later."**_ Venom whispered, his voice cracking like he was about to cry.

Eddie had only ever heard him like this once; after he had been stabbed by Riot and Venom was trying to heal him and yelling, _"Don't you dare die on me, you asshole! You stay alive, you hear me?!"_

It was the only time before this that he had ever seen Venom break down. Venom was similar to Eddie in a way, hiding his emotions behind a wall of sarcastic comments or denial. Venom had admitted once, in the darkness of night after a bad nightmare that they had both shared, that Klyntar weren't supposed to show attachment or emotions and that he had been considered a freak and loser among the Klyntar because he felt too much, got too attached, was too sensitive...Venom had learned to hide it, to try to block it out as much as he could and it was a habit he, like Eddie, had trouble breaking. Both were slowly starting to open up to each other in the months after their reunion, but it was hard to break through the defense mechanisms built up by so much pain.

Eddie would try to get Venom to talk about what was hurting him so much, but they needed to find the little girl's parents first.

Nearing the playground, they heard frightened voices calling out for someone named Joy and saw a blond woman and dark haired man running around frantically. The woman had a tiny newborn baby in a carrier strapped to her chest.

"Mama!" the child in Eddie and Venom's arms called and Eddie hurried to the people who were clearly her parents. Venom ducked back into Eddie's body before he could be seen.

"Is this little one yours?" Eddie called out to get their attention.

They came rushing over. "Oh, thank god you found her!" the man told him.

"Oh, Joy, baby, where were you?" the child's mother asked, gently taking her daughter from their arms. Eddie felt another stab of pain from his symbiote upon hearing the child's name. "You're soaking wet."

"She fell into the pond." Eddie explained and the mother's eyes filled with tears as she held her daughter closer and the father checked little Joy over.

"Thank you so much...If you hadn't been there...We only took our eyes off her for a few minutes to change Brandon's diaper...And she was gone..." the father whispered shakily as it hit him how close he had come to losing his little girl.

Venom was about to yell at them but Eddie stopped him. _"It was an accident, buddy. Even the best of parents make mistakes."_ He thought to his symbiote before trying to reassure the parents. "She was only in the water for a few seconds before we grabbed her. I think she's okay, but you might want to take her to the doctor's."

"We will." the mother promised and switched Joy to one hand to give Eddie a hug. "Thank you..."

"You're welcome."

The grateful parents offered to pay him, but he refused the money, though he didn't refuse the brownies they offered him from their picnic basket. He knew Venom would love them.

He said goodbye to the young family and smiled softly as Joy yelled "Bye bye, man! Bye bye, kitty!"

Venom couldn't appear again without alerting Joy's parents to his presence, but Eddie felt a wave of affection directed at the child as Venom lifted Eddie's hand to wave back as they left.

Venom was unusually quiet after that.

...

Eddie took them back to the park bench. "You did great with the little one, V." he told his symbiote.

 _ **"Thanks."**_ Venom fell quiet again.

Eddie tried to cheer him up and held out a brownie. "Want one? You beyond earned it."

_**"No."** _

Okay, this was really bad if Venom didn't even want chocolate. Eddie was already worried about Venom but this made his concern skyrocket even more. "I'd ask if you're okay, but I already know the answer. Do you want to talk about it?"

Eddie could hear Venom thinking about it before the symbiote quietly answered, _**"Yes. But not here. Can-Can we go home, Eddie? I want to go home."**_

"Of course."

Few words were exchanged as they headed back to their apartment. Eddie shut the door and Venom sent out a tentacle, locking it. Eddie made his way to the couch and sat down. "C'mere."

The substance that made up Venom flowed to the center of Eddie's chest and Venom formed his head. When they had first met, Venom's expressionless white eyes and jagged teeth had filled Eddie with terror, but no longer. Now it was simply the face of his best friend, and those eyes were no longer expressionless. Eddie could feel sorrow emanating from Venom and he couldn't help but pull the symbiote into a hug, nuzzling the top of his head.

It took a long time for Venom to speak, and when he did, it was soft, vulnerable, his normally deep voice cracking. _**"I-I had a child...at the LIFE Foundation. I was spawning when they brought me in. They were so little...not ready to leave my body yet. You saw them."**_

Eddie remembered the tiny little pink creature he saw in Venom's memories when they were holding Joy and nodded, a lump growing in his throat. No other symbiote besides Venom had survived the LIFE Foundation. He held V closer and the symbiote shuddered into his shoulder like he was holding back tears. "Tell me about them." he said softly.

Venom nodded softly, gently pressing his forehead to his host's. Images flashed through Eddie's mind and he let himself fall into a memory that was not his own.

...

_It was cold, the very air burned, the lights were too bright, and Venom was poked and prodded at by two legged aliens in white coats. He was starving. The rats given to them were terrible hosts and barely provided the nutrients he needed._

_His teammates, for lack of a better word, were being experimented on too. Riot was nowhere to be found and Venom found himself not caring._

_They were given two legged hosts who screamed when they attempted to bond with them. Venom had been so hungry that he had literally eaten his first host alive, which he felt guilty about, but the host wasn't even close to a match and if Venom didn't eat, he would die, and he was killing said host just by being on her anyway._

_Plus, there was more than him to care for._

_The spawn's mind wasn't very strong yet, but Venom could still feel them, more a part of him than they were part of themselves right now, a tiny little pink speck. He needed to feed to help them grow so their species could live on. That was all. Klyntar didn't get attached to their offspring any more than they did their hosts. Once the spawn was old enough to leave the parent's body, it would be left alone to survive on its own. If it lived, it would be taken in to be trained as a warrior. If it died, well, better luck next time. Venom himself had been left alone after spawning. It was how the Klyntar race worked. Offspring weren't loved or cherished._

_But Venom had always been a freak among the Klyntar._

_..._

_The second host, a wild eyed young man who stank of strange chemicals, had torn at his skin trying to get Venom out. The genetic and emotional rejection as well as the dangerous chemicals he had willingly placed in his body had killed him in less than a day._

_Venom ate his brain and organs without(much) regret._

_The spawn inside him grew and developed. Venom remembered when he first felt them move in his body, felt the first little wave of curiosity that wasn't his own. He remembered how he felt an emotion tug at him every time he felt that little one. It was so small, so innocent._

_Klyntar didn't care about protecting their offspring._

_But Venom found himself wanting to, no matter how hard he tried to remain indifferent._

_..._

_The third host was another male. Venom had just fed so he was calmer this time and managed to make a bond. The man was frightened but receptive enough._

_His name was Conrad, and his body was a little tight and uncomfortable, but it would work for now. He was in his fifties with dark brown hair that had streaks of grey.  His brown eyes were filled with sorrow, but also kindness. He had lost his mate and offspring in a car accident, and the grief had so deeply destroyed him that he couldn't work and lost his home too. Like the first, he found solace in something that wasn't so good for his body; alcohol._

_He apparently used it for coping but it only helped for a short time and caused damage to his liver. Venom couldn't fix it as they weren't quite compatible enough. The man said he didn't care._

_Conrad was lonely, like Venom was. He spent the few weeks he lived talking to Venom. It hurt the man to talk about his offspring and mate, but he still did it anyway. He said it was to keep their memories alive even though they were gone._

_Venom didn't understand, but he liked the stories. The man told him about how beautiful his wife Andrea had been, and how she loved to laugh and play practical jokes on him. Venom didn't understand the point of practical jokes, but the memories made him feel warm somehow._

_Conrad told him about watching his wife grow with child, and about feeling the little kicks in her stomach, and resting his head on his wife's stomach and whispering, "Hi, baby. I'm your daddy." to his unborn child. He spoke of sitting with his wife through labor, of holding their baby girl, little Abby, in his arms. All of this had repeated five years later with their son, Ben._

_There were memories of teaching both children to walk, Abby holding Ben and being extremely protective and proud of her little brother. Ben's little one tooth grin as he followed his big sister around and tried to share his toys, Conrad and Andrea teaching Abby how to play T-ball as an eight year old, little Ben cuddling up with their dog and declaring he wanted to be a vet when he got "big like daddy."_

_But he never got the chance to get big and neither had Abby._

_When Abby was twelve and Ben only seven, Conrad had been taking the family to their grandparent's house for Christmas when another car had hit a patch of ice on the road and hit theirs on the passenger side._

_Conrad survived. His family didn't._

_Conrad had broken into tears when telling Venom this. Venom didn't know how to comfort him but he stayed and he was there._

_And it helped._

_..._

_Venom was even more aware of the child, no longer simply a spawn, but a child, growing inside him. The little one was more active and had become noisy, crooning and cooing inside Venom's body and exploring, poking their little head out at times though they weren't strong enough to leave Venom's body yet._

_Conrad said they were beautiful._

_Venom couldn't help but agree. He could no longer hide his love for this child, Klyntar logic be damned. He would keep them and protect them for as long as possible, find them a suitable host._

_But right now he was happy just feeling it inside them._

_"Such a bouncy little thing." Conrad said as he felt the tiny symbiote move. He smiled as he heard it coo. "So happy too. Joy would be a good name."_

_Venom frowned dismissively even though he secretly did like the name. "Klyntar need tough names. How about Malice?"_

_Conrad rolled his eyes. "Ugh, talk about unfitting. There's not a spark of malice in this little one._ _" He then started coughing._

_"Are you all right?"_

_"Relax, kid, I'm fine." Conrad told him. Venom was about to ask why Conrad always called him kid when Venom was likely older than him when Conrad began coughing again, covering his mouth._

_When he pulled his hand back, blood covered his palm._

_..._

_Conrad was dying. Venom tried to fix his organs, but he couldn't._

_His very presence was poison to the man._

_Venom had been good at living up to the name he had given himself as a foolhardy young symbiote when he swore he would be venom to all his enemies. But he had been too good at being a poison. Even when it came to people who he was starting to care about._

_ESPECIALLY when it came to people he cared about._

_"My being here is killing you." Venom told him softly._

_"I know, kid."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I know. But it's not your fault. You didn't do it on purpose. Wasn't your fault they forced you to bond with an incompatible host." Conrad shrugged it off like it was nothing._

_"Why aren't you angry? Or afraid? You're literally dying, idiot!"_

_"Language, young man!" Conrad scolded, then softened. "Kid, you're more upset about this than I am. Look, I'm going to die regardless, and I'm not going to waste what time I have left being afraid or angry. Plus, just because my body's dying doesn't mean it's the end for me. You believe in an afterlife, son?" Venom was completely confused so Conrad elaborated. "Do you believe there's life after death?"_

_"Death is literally the absence of life. My race believes that when you're gone, you're gone."_

_"Hogwash. Listen, son, our bodies are made up of energy. Yours, mine, everyone else's. You can't kill energy. It'll just go someplace else. And I believe that in that someplace, my wife and children are waiting for me."_

_"But how can you possibly know?"_

_"it's called faith, kiddo. It's believing in things you can't see. You can't see the wind, but it exists. And I believe there's an afterlife too. I'm not afraid, Venom, so don't you be afraid for me either. Just focus on taking care of that little one for me, okay?"_

_"Okay." Venom never cried and he wasn't going to cry now, even though he felt like he was being destroyed along with his host. He changed the subject. "Why do you keep calling me "kid" or "son"? We aren't biologically related and I'm not a child."_

_"But you are young. I know you're lost and alone with a little one to raise, and for the first time, I can be there for someone. I know it must be strange to you."_

_Venom gave the mental equvalient of a nod, hiding his true emotions.. He felt a hard twinge of guilt, remembering that they were supposed to be there to invade. He hid these thoughts from Conrad though. The man deserved to have peace in his final hours and Venom had already taken enough without taking his hope as well. And maybe for both their sakes, just for a second, he could pretend, even if only in his head, that he was this human's child._

_Maybe Riot was right that he got too attached._

_But he didn't care right now._

_..._

_Conrad died the next day._

_It hurt way more than it should have. He never should have let himself get attached to a host he couldn't keep alive.  He should have never gotten attached to a host at all._

_The little symbiote seemed to pick up on Venom's mood and let out a soft, plaintive croon as if trying to comfort him._

_"it's all right, little one." Venom whispered to his child, making them coo softly and snuggle close. Venom couldn't help but purr._

_Maybe he would name them Joy after all._

_Maybe._

_..._

_But when the scientists had been transferring him out of the cell and getting him ready for the next host, they had discovered his little one._

_They had poked and prodded at him again, trying to figure out what his child was. When they had figured out that he was spawning, an order was given to extract the little symbiote for testing._

_Venom fought back, forming teeth and claws and keeping the child as deep within him as he could. He wouldn't let them harm his baby!_

_But they knew his weaknesses too well. They brought in something that made a loud sonic blast, sending him into convulsions and filling his world with pain._

_His baby screamed in agony as the sound forced them apart._

_And then they took them away._

_..._

_His child didn't survive._

_They were too young to leave his body and the sound had weakened them greatly. That and the poisonous atmosphere killed them before they could even make it to a host._

_Venom had gone beserk when he saw his child's tiny burned body lying on the ground in a now empty containment cell._

_Somehow rage had helped him break the glass in his containment chamber. He killed the head scientist and eaten away his organs as painfully as possible before he had been subdued by sonic guns and recontained in a stronger chamber._

_It didn't cool his rage. He ate his next host alive even though the poor bastard hadn't done anything to deserve it. He raged at the world outside. He had lost his child. He had lost the only person who had been a father figure. All because of THEM._

_The world deserved to burn._

_..._

_He killed the next host. And the next. He would reflect later that Conrad would have been ashamed of him._

_He was too angry to care. And none of them were even close to compatible. They wouldn't survive anyway and he wasn't going to get attached and have it hurt when they died._

_But when he was brought to the containment chamber that contained a woman named Maria, something stayed his non-existent hand. She was singing softly, to herself, to him._

_It reminded him of his child's crooning._

_He wasn't compatible with Maria either. But he couldn't bring himself to destroy her, not on purpose._

_He listened to her sing and looked into her memories. She was kind but cunning. She had loved someone like he had, but lost them as well. Still, she kept going. She was strong willed and stubborn._

_It made him ache inside to realize she would have been perfectly compatible with his child. If they had just left the child with him...Maria and the child would have both lived._

_He didn't speak to her, but he listened. He tried not to grow attached. But like always, it never worked. She was a loser like he was, with one of her few friends being a man named Eddie, another loser, someone who treated her with kindness and was generous despite undergoing his own pain._

_Something inside him wanted to meet this person though he didn't know why._

_Because he was still poison to everyone and he wasn't supposed to get attached to anything or anyone and it would always hurt every time he inevitably lost them._

_He was killing Maria. He had lost his baby. He couldn't save either one of them. All he could do was start to shut the pain sensors in Maria's body down so the inevitable death wouldn't hurt her._

_He ached for his child. He would never be able to raise or guide them. They would never taste prey or bond with a host or even get their Name._

_Normally a symbiote Named themselves like he had or earned their Name by their actions in battle or colonization the way Riot had. But his child hadn't survived long enough to make a name for themselves in any heart other than his. But they still deserved their Name._

_Joy no longer fit. But there was another Name, a tough Klyntar name, something that would fit in its own bittersweet, twisted way._

_Their Name would be Agony._

_Because that's what it felt like to lose them._

_For the first time in his life, Venom cried._

_..._

Eddie found himself crying as well when the last memory faded away, leaving him in his living room. "Oh, V..." He held the symbiote closer.

 _ **"I wasn't supposed to love them..."**_ Venom whispered, trying to keep himself collected but ultimately failing. _**"But I did..."**_

"Of course you did, love." Eddie was too upset to realize what he had called Venom and Venom had registered it but was for once too upset to comment. "They were your child. It's okay to grieve for them. It's okay to cry."

 _ **"Real Klyntar aren't supposed to cry."**_ Venom muttered softly.

Eddie's heart ached and his mind went to his own father angrily telling him that real men weren't supposed to cry. "Real Klyntar are assholes then and I'm glad you aren't like them." He pressed a kiss softly to the top of his symbiote's head. "I'm glad you loved your child. I'm glad you cared about Maria and Conrad." It did indeed make him feel better now that he knew Maria hadn't died in pain, to know that Venom had at least tried to save her.

Venom leaned into his chest. _**"I miss them."**_

"I know, V. I know."

_**"They all deserved to survive."** _

"They did. But V, it's not..."

_**"It is."** _

"No."

_**"I couldn't save them."** _

"You tried."

_**"I failed. I failed all three of them! I couldn't save anyone."** _

"You saved me. You saved the world. And you at least tried to save them. Do you think Riot or any of the other symbiotes would have done that?"

V shook his head. He continued to cry. Eddie simply cuddled him close, stroking his best friend's soft skin, running his hands through soft tendrils. He let Venom cry, not saying anything more, simply sending feelings of love and caring to his symbiote.

They stayed there, on the couch, with Venom in Eddie's arms, for the rest of the night.


End file.
